If you’re looking for an adventure involving music, drugs, or (ideally) both, there’s no place like Ibiza. The Spanish island is known for its collection of famous DJs and, thanks to the Mike Posner song “I Took a Pill in Ibiza,” its abundant supply of recreational drugs. Largely for this reason, many people have had some of the wildest times of their lives there.
With the island’s clubbing season in full swing, I asked people about their most memorable Ibiza moments. Some are terrifying, others are hilarious, and others still are charmingly tame. Here are some stories that might inspire your next Ibiza vacation.
“When I was 19 years old, I moved to Spain to work and travel a bit. After working in the Canary Islands as an activity organizer/entertainer in hotel resorts, I quit my job and flew to Ibiza. I was planning on finding a job but found a guy instead who was 17 years older than me. He lied that he was 30 and I lied that I was 20. We hung out around the island for a week and a half, partied, took drugs, and I spent all of my money. When he left, I was in my hostel with about 100 euros in my bank account, no job, and clueless what to do next. So, I went to a Go-Go dancer casting (it’s not stripping — I had all my clothes on!). It went fine, except I slipped and fell while dancing on the stage. I did not go back there anymore. I bought plane tickets to Barcelona with the last of money and left the island.” – Lana, 27, Israel
“I stayed in the room that Jean Paul Gaultier and Madonna stayed in when they went. I went to a foam party and got felt up by ten trillion hidden hands. Woke up on a beach octopussed up between two beautiful naked German girls. I was fully clothed. That was a wild weekend.” – Dutch, 43, Houston
“I was playing poker with a guy when his girlfriend undressed, masturbated, came, and got up to sit with us while were discussing US politics.” – Anonymous, 43, New York
“I was best woman in a gay wedding in Ibiza, and the grooms rented a gorgeous mansion with an infinity pool that overlooked the Mediterranean and mountains. Their friends rented rooms in the villa, so it was a big party house. There was one very desirable, studly, cool guy that everyone was trying to sleep with. And one morning, my friend, the groom, innocently walked in his room and saw four naked legs entwined and two bare asses. He gasped, ran out, and told everyone. We were speculating like crazy on who it was. I even snuck by the window to get a peek. We were nosy! Turned out it was the groom’s other best friend, Paul. We were all thrilled for him. The night after the wedding, Paul and I chugged wine until who knows when, because in the summer in Spain the sun is up at like 4 a.m., and when we finished our second individual bottles of (affordable, local) wine, the sun had been up for a while. So there was one straight guy at the wedding and back home he was screwing some other girl who came to the wedding who was, get this, married. But I’m such an alpha dog when I’m single. I got him to ditch her in Ibiza and come home to the villa with us. After Paul went to bed, the one straight guy and I ended up very not romantically and not otherwise memorably boning on the deck overlooking the sea and mountains and infinity pool. My groom friend’s new husband was just then getting up bright and early to do morning yoga and caught us. He gasped and ran in to ask my friend who it was. He knew it was me. His two best pals were the hoes of the trip. We had a good laugh.” – Anonymous, 38, Boston
“My only really mad story is when I thought I was going to die in Space watching Disclosure after smashing some mental pills. Then walking back to the hotel and having really bizarre hallucinations for about 10 hours. I was so hot and twitchy and couldn’t sleep. Dreams were all weird. I was eaten by a snake with a kaleidoscopic throat. And there were these weird depictions of the devil chained to the earth by big concrete slabs — the sort of stuff that freaks you out big time. Funny day actually. Wouldn’t like to repeat it.” – Anonymous, 29, London
“I once saw a prostitute chasing a guy around Playa den Bossa. That was funny. At like 8 a.m. opposite Pizza Piadina.” – Anonymous, 29, London
“I studied abroad in Barcelona when I was in college and we went to Ibiza. Basically, I ended up getting my nipple pierced (just one, no money for the second one) and there is still a photo of it — along with my friend, who bet me that if I got a nipple pierced he would get a bull ring — grinning like idiots in the tattoo shop. Which, if I ever go again, I will take down.” – Michelle, 28, Atlanta
“My friends and I met an undercover drug cop at the airport and crashed at his fancy apartment instead of our Airbnb, and my friend hooked up with him!” – Anonymous, LA
“There was one night I went to Ushuaia, and I don’t think I was planning on doing molly, but a friend gave it to me. I was like, Oh, why not? So I’m frolicking, I’m dancing, I’m also on my period. I personally don’t really like tampons because something about them itch my vagina, but I put in a tampon because I was wearing this tight-ass dress and I didn’t want to wear a pad. It was starting to irritate and itch me, and I’m on drugs, and I don’t understand what it means when I rip out my tampon. I think I threw it in this guy’s patio area. And I don’t give a shit and I just dance. Then I meet this super cute guy and I’m walking around, my teeth are chattering, and I look like a crazy person. We were dancing and talking and then you lose track of time, you’re going to a bunch of different places and bars around Ibiza, and I think we were making out, and then we get to the time when we’re like, OK, let’s have sex. It’s at that moment that I realize I had taken out my tampon hours ago and my entire underwear is soaked red with blood and it’s running down my leg. And he’s like, I don’t care. And then we have sex anyway, and I think we were in public.” – Anonymous, 26, Chicago
“Dalt Vila at sunset… watching the white-washed homes that dot the landscape fall asleep as the Mediterranean sun goes down while you’re standing in a walled city from the 15th century. It’s not what people think of Ibiza and it surprised me.” – Andrea, 42, Canada
PLAYING ATLANTA: The “Strange Motion” of Swallowed Sun